The Purge

 I think 2023 has been the year of the Great Purge. At least for me. The sheer amount of STUFF that has been released from my life is astonishing. Some of it I'm kinda sad about. Most of it I can't remember. I keep seeing pics from facebook memories and going HEY, what happened to that?? It's a blur. Especially the studio stuff. It was such an out of the blue shock I gave away just about everything. To students, to goodwill, to friends, it became just a lay over and play dead event. Take it... it's yours. 

Once we got the studio cleared and our home set up, I returned to the beach completely disoriented. I have spent the last 2 months simply trying to figure out what is left and where the hell is it. Had to tediously go through each cabinet, closet, drawers, storage units, bins, boxes... back and forth from md to nc. I still have some stuff I can't find... my father's important papers... some of my clothes... like, how did they get involved in this insanity? 

One of the first things I did after the studio closed was purge my facebook of all people who clearly did not give a rats ass about me. This week I deleted over 2000 contacts from my email/phone. It's astonishing to me how many acquaintances we accumulate in a life time. I am tired of trying to find an email address only to have to sort through a hundred people with R in their names... some that I never want to see their names again.. It's an ugh, oh yeah, THEM.

When I was a mortgage broker, I quickly learned the CYA rule. Cover your ass at all times. I held onto every incriminating email, phone message, anything that would hold up if I had to defend myself. You should see the file on the church secretary, what a horrific person. But now there is no need. Delete, delete, delete and watch the energy start to clear and get better. 

Think about it. We smudge our homes, clear our energy, put salt and tourmaline everywhere, avoid toxic places, etc. but what about what is in your face day in and day out? How can we serve the highest intention of the highest good if we are constantly bombarded with negative souls that do not have the same goals? It's one thing to send love and healing, it's another to be constantly reminded of those who send the opposite. Think about it-- most of us stop watching the news, getting the newspaper, doing everything we can to stop having the lower vibrations in our space. How about all the online spaces?

I have to say it has been extremely freeing. I feel better than I have for many years, probably about 14 to be exact. I'm not worried about what others are doing. I am surrounded by loving souls. I have time to think and not have to fight my own curiosity of what are they doing now? How else can I be convicted without a trial? I have attracted some pretty incredible opposition over the years, such is the life of a "boss", I've made mistakes, I've done stupid things, but most of them hurt me way more than anyone else. 14 years of it. But I've served my time. I don't need to ruminate on any of it anymore. In fact, I am fully willing to go into 2024 without any of my baggage... material or not.

500 people off my facebook and unfollowed 100 more. Most people on facebook cannot see what I post unless I decide to make it public. Deleted Twitter. Unfollowed a ton of Instagram people. 1000 contacts from my phone. 2500 clients off my mailchimp. All the so called ways business is supposed to be run is hogwash. I will slowly but surely return to what my mission was to begin with. 

I want to share yoga and healing with a SMALL group of people that are kindred spirits. So.... my question to you:

What should I call this? Imagine Wellness? Imagine Yolinna? Linda's Mission? Hmmm. 

 A year.

A whole year.

And what a year. I can't even begin to process it all. In one year:

1. My son bought a house and moved out. At 36.

2. We emptied our house to sell it, put it on the market and then took it off.

3. We got kicked out of our yoga studio, moved the studio stuff into our empty house and turned it into a temporary studio.

4. We went to Europe, Barry's first time out of the country.

5. My daughter announced she was pregnant. Our first grandchild. 

Is that enough? Cause it seems like just the tip of the iceberg. The worst has been the back and forth.. clearing the house, and then clearing the studio, and now clearing the storage unit and condo that was holding all the house stuff, and oh yeah, Barry being told he has to go back to work in Maryland 3 days a week... and then not... and then yes... and then not... and now "an answer in 2 weeks"... if the Republicans don't shut down the government.

I am an Aries with Libra rising. That may mean nothing to most people, but I get my gung-ho and leadership and courage from my sun... and my peace, balance and difficulty making decisions from my rising. And I think my Libra is broke. Like, seriously, sitting at a restaurant trying to figure out what to order has put me over the edge. After making 4 million decisions about should we keep this or should we move here and where should we put that... I'm done. Put a fork in me.

I know this all means something and I am being led in new directions but the twists and turns are epic. Just in the last week I heard a very nasty conversation with me as the star, that led me to thinking yeah, I'm over this... and then got an offer to share space with a wonderful new friend in NC... and we decided to buy a car so I could have some mobility when/if Barry has to return to work, only to have the car and every other car in a 50 mile radius sold out from under us while I was meeting new friend.

You just gotta laugh. Seriously, I can't even. Again, tip of the iceberg. 

I took this week at the beach by myself to try and make some sense of it all. I did a tarot reading yesterday which just flat out mocked me. 

1. The Tower was in What is being shaken loose in my life? Basically, EVERYTHING.

2. How do I best stay safe on a material level? 7 of swords... gather all you can, run and know you will leave some behind.

3. What can I do to nurture my state of calm? Just do your work. Honestly and diligently. I would have loved a bit of insight into WHERE but yeah. 

4. What is coming to a head in my personal life? King of Cups. This made sense and felt positive but it's personal LOL

5. How can I best serve the collective for the Highest Good in the next 100 days? THE DEVIL, like WTF? Figure out what I'm chained to? Know that I am surrounded with demons? Don't let my head lead me astray? Oy.

6. What is being released from my life permanently? 3 of pentacles.... Teamwork, as in does NOT make the dreamwork in my life. Stop mentoring people who don't want to listen anyway? This is interesting because new friend has had some similar icky business experiences and we both agreed we would not be partners, or work for one another, or even together. Hmmm. reinforcement.

7. How can I find the best balance between light and dark this winter. Queen of Pentacles. As in, remember who you freaking are. This is my significator card, Queen of Rainbows. I love that the top card is King of Cups and bottom is Queen of Pentacles. That's interesting. 

Anyway. I have done some major purging this year. Of stuff. Of people. Of organizations. Of outdated ideas that aren't based on anything but insecurity. The nasty convo I heard initially took me back to the continued nasty that has surrounded me in business for years, just when you thought it was safe... they attack! LOL But, in a way, I see it as a total positive for 2024 decisions. I keep holding on thinking I am helping people, but really, that's not the case.I'm just giving them something to talk about ... cue Bonnie Raitt.

Yesterday, I told a client she needed to write 100 things she was going to do differently in 2024 to get unstuck and create what she wants. I don't know if I have 100, but I will certainly have a few. Let's begin:

1. Do what is best for you and your family and the hell with the rest.

What's your number 1 for 2024?